I am generally a list-maker, but it tends to be in my head (much like dealing with my finances in my head, which I am starting to consider is a major contributor to my constant freak-outs over money or the lack thereof because thinking about finances to keep things straight then turns to obsessing about them, which in turn starts the freak-out mode) so I decided instead to actually make a list of the things I want to do this weekend. Then, maybe, I will actually do them.
Thursday and Friday passed way too quickly. Thursday--working on the house, cooking, TALKING TALKING TALKING to relatives (I really don't actually TALK that much to people--just Nick, the kids and at work, sad huh) which wore me out. But great visits with the MIL, who came over for my amazingly-spiffy Thanksgiving, my sister Robyn who I don't see often though she is in town, and a really lovely, long visit with my dad and his wife. She is about to have hip replacement surgery on Monday and they dread it--she's had two heart attacks already, she is way overweight (sigh, I want to help her dammit but she is not listening--YET), and will have to stay in hospital, then go to a convalescence center for a few days. My dad simply can't lift her about like needs to be done post-surgery. So they are dreading that.
Dinner was fabulous. Believe it or not, this was the first time I ever made Thanksgiving. We usually go out to eat at Mimi's, which is FABULOUS but dinner for four would've cost three times what making it at home actually cost. And, we snagged an extra kid, and we would've missed out on her macaroni salad. It was really good.
And, we would've missed out on having Sam's Balls. Sam
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copperbadge came up with the nifty idea to make dressing, scoop it out with an ice cream scoop into balls, chill slightly, then fry them. I give Sam the credit for this whether or not he deserves it, simply because then I can call them Sam's Balls. They were a hit, even with my son who is not a dressing person. I wish I'd done all of them like that, but only did one panful, the rest in the oven. But forevermore, we will have Sam's Balls at Thanksgiving. The daughter rolled her eyes at me (as she often does) when I told her what they were called. "You are so weird, but I love you anyway," she said. She says this often, btw.
So before I start nattering about this and that, because I don't post that often due to I don't know why, too much twitter-time, email lists, I don't chat but now and then because I get distracted too easily and miss talking to people so much, I want to drop everything for them and then get nothing done...oh chat! See? Distracted myself. ANYWAY, here is my list:
1. Finish that About Me meme. Yes, I started it three days ago. I will do that first, and post it, which means TWO posts about myself today, which is so annoying of me, but hey I don't post but once every week or so. So just deal with it.
2. Christmas cards. I want to be creative this year. I have a real nice list of peoples to send to, and all over the world, and though I know my one Russian (American, but living in Russia, which is sooo amazing--I love it when she writes about life there, though I wouldn't want to experience it myself) won't get her 'Happy Winter' card until probably January, I'm looking forward to sending that. She has the one address I have to print out, and cut and paste. AHH! I assume the US Post Office sorts those in other languages into a different feed and SOMEONE will be able to read it and get it to where it needs to go. I want to make the cards this year, so will be headed for Michael's tomorrow to see what they have that I can do so I can impress y'all to bits. ANYONE ELSE WANT A CARD? You do NOT have to send me one in return! I just want to do it for you all. I will send Happy Winter cards too for those who don't do Christmas. I am very easy that way.
3. The Christmas Tree. Gotta drag it out of the garage. We are doing a TCU tree this year--last year it was the Cowboys, the year before OU. This year? Purple and Silver. LOL!!! Present-giving will be almost non-existent due to the fact the kids are going to Europe, and we are saving madly for that. ITALY! Together! At once! BOTH MY KIDS FAR FAR AWAY FROM MEEEE!!! For ten days! OMG!
4. Finish The Gulls for
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reel_torchwood. Halfway point--just where I was last week. I have just over 20k for my half-nano, with 5 to go to reach 25k, which was my goal. I do not feel impressed by this 25k as it has been jittery, jolty, I have not felt sunk-into my writing but for a handful of times. This is disappointing to me. Still, writing something outside-the-box for me is fun, too--taking
The Birds' main plot idea (and not much else) I am enjoying the challenge of writing suspense, and especially love the parts I've done so far of the seagulls going crazy. LOL. It is a post-CoE fic, yeah, but Ianto is my POV character. :)
blue_fjords is being a fantastic cheerleader and beta, and
smirnoffmule has volunteered his awesomeness to Brit-pick it for me, being British ya know, to make sure I don't set myself up for attack over getting something wrong. (hmm, just had image of the Brit-pickers as evil seagulls).
Oh, trash day, a day late due to holiday. Thanks guys! (heard the big truck go by)
5. Diet. Since Tiffany started working at Starbucks, I've gained three pounds. I'm not amused by this, 3 lbs. in a month? What if I do that next month, and the next, and the next, and then I will be right back to being overweight again. Oh, I DON'T THINK SO.... I've also slipped into a bad eating pattern...reaching too often for the evil bad stuff, because I don't plan ahead and shop wisely to make sure I have good things on hand. This has got to stop. So as of today, it has, and I will be spending a wee bit of time today setting out a healthy eating plan for myself (and Tiff and even Kelly).
6. Finances. Dammit C, you've let yourself go NUTS over money! In July, we will no longer have Social Security because my son will have graduated and thanks to Reagan, kids no longer get SS when they need it most--in college. Bastard. That money would get him through college easily, without putting him into debt. But NO. Let's kill that for the future of America! BASTARDS. So, I *HAVE* been actively finding cheaper ways to pay for things (car insurance, which nearly ended up a fiasco as State Farm took me on, then CANCELED me, then reinstated me again, wtf?) but I am saving over 160 a month with them (as opposed to Farmers). I've switched electric to www.greenmountainenergy.com and they have been FANTASTIC. My bill this month? Only $173. The worst bill I had with them was only $350. Last year, with my previous? I had bills constantly hitting $500 a month. I can't do that. I am going back to keeping track via spreadsheet, as we did a long time ago. Getting it all down there, when I get paid, when things are due, etc. That I hope will give me the peace of mind I have not had in way too long.
I am really getting concerned about my freaking-out (I hesitate to call them anxiety-attacks, but maybe I should?). I have dealt with depression-issues in the past, was on meds for 2 years, got out of that, and generally do pretty well...I think. Or maybe not. Not really sure, but I know freaking-out over things that don't deserve that kind of power over me, that bring everything good in my life to a standstill (most notably writing) is not good. I tend to go 90mph or go to a dead stand-still, incapacitated by my worries. My dad told me the other day to stop worrying, he can and wants to help me, especially next year with getting Kelly into college (he is eying Texas Tech's architecture program) and keeping him there, hell even Tiff said she'd help get her brother through school once she is out on her own (sweet sister, but she'll have her own school loans to worry about), but I let that consume me too.
Ew, coffee got cold.
So that is on my mind--coping skills, ways to keep myself from falling into that vicious, freezing-up pattern, whether it is via mentally telling myself to cut the crap out, by running (which makes me feel fantastic), by getting planning out of my head and onto the computer...I frankly wouldn't at all be adverse to other suggestions from peeps who deal with this sort of thing.
Maybe I shouldn't do the meme? Or I will shorten it as I've said here alot of what I was going to say there. LOL! Or I should delete all this! Nah, it was good to type it out. I should do that more often, I think.
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